The pieces of the puzzle of my life are falling together and finally forming a coherent picture :)
- I successfully signed up for classes months ago, and Shawn has orientation at the U two days from now.
- I have a job, and I really like it so far.
- Shawn has a job, and although he hasn't started yet, he's excited for all the new possibilities.
- Yesterday we looked at an apartment and put in an application, today we got the phone call saying that our application has been approved and that on September 1st we will have a place to live.
Everything is coming together wonderfully. The big pieces have finally fallen into place, and the little ones will soon follow. I'm still investigating epilepsy and thinking about my seizures. I'm trying to figure out which vaccinations I need for school, because there has been some confusion regarding that. Shawn needs to start his job and sign up for classes, but both of those things will happen very soon. Unfortunately, Dr. Kantarci has not deemed me fit for driving, so I will have to learn to take a bus, but since that is hardly unexpected, I don't deem that bad news. Life is looking a little bit brighter :)
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
The Never-Ending Struggle
So I think I might be epileptic. Officially, I'm not exactly sure what the difference is between "non-epileptic seizures" and the seizure disorder of epilepsy, but considering I had another seizure 2 days ago, I'm afraid the chances of me being epileptic are pretty good. I've been doing my research, and it seems to me that most of the symptoms I have are indicative of seizure activity- including my lightheaded spells (as I've been calling them).
A lot of people have what are called auras... symptoms that may signal the onset of a seizure. From what I can tell in my research, most people's auras are incredibly similar to my lightheaded spells, and these auras are actually seizures in themselves. They are called Simple Partial seizures, and may or may not lead into larger seizures. In my case, they don't. I have also learned that having seizures when sleeping is not unusual, and considering that 2 of my 3 major seizures have been as I'm waking up in the morning, I would say that that rings true for me too.
This particular incident was particularly frightening because I was alone. I was sleeping at my grandparents' house because I had to work Sunday evening. Sunday morning I woke up, thinking I heard a strange noise. I listened for it and it didn't come back. Groggy, I looked at my phone and realized it was probably time for me to get up, so I did. I showered, and thought to myself "wow, I really need to brush my teeth, my breath stinks", so I did. I then went to have breakfast, and my cheek and tongue hurt. I thought maybe I had a canker sore or a swollen tastebud or something, and just chewed on the other side of my mouth. When I went to make my bed though, I started to get really suspicious. The sheets were everywhere, I mean, I toss and turn a lot, but they were totally in disarray, and even worse... there was blood on my pillow, damp and mixed with saliva. At this point, I put the pieces together. Messed up sheets, bloody pillow, nasty taste in my mouth, sore tongue and cheek... and no memory of the event. I called Shawn. I explained the situation to him, and as I was in the midst of explaining, I realized something that solidified the evidence in my mind... I remembered and recognized the noise that had originally woken me up. It was me, screaming, during my seizure.
Shawn came and got me. I'm not driving anywhere. I called the Mayo and Kantarci upped my meds. Now I'm just trying to figure out what to do. Shawn and I are hoping to get an apartment within walking distance to Mac, and then I can take a bus to work. I am finally in agreement with everyone else in thinking that I shouldn't be driving, especially after researching and finding out that my lightheaded spells are actually small seizures. If one of those were to progress and become larger... I should not be driving. For now, various family members and friends are volunteering to drive me to and from the cities for work. Shawn and I are hoping to be in an apartment as of the 1st, and if not, we'll camp out with my relatives or in Grandma and Grandpa's house.
Now, I am working on acceptance. That part could definitely take me awhile, but I'm doing my best, and that's all I can hope for.
A lot of people have what are called auras... symptoms that may signal the onset of a seizure. From what I can tell in my research, most people's auras are incredibly similar to my lightheaded spells, and these auras are actually seizures in themselves. They are called Simple Partial seizures, and may or may not lead into larger seizures. In my case, they don't. I have also learned that having seizures when sleeping is not unusual, and considering that 2 of my 3 major seizures have been as I'm waking up in the morning, I would say that that rings true for me too.
This particular incident was particularly frightening because I was alone. I was sleeping at my grandparents' house because I had to work Sunday evening. Sunday morning I woke up, thinking I heard a strange noise. I listened for it and it didn't come back. Groggy, I looked at my phone and realized it was probably time for me to get up, so I did. I showered, and thought to myself "wow, I really need to brush my teeth, my breath stinks", so I did. I then went to have breakfast, and my cheek and tongue hurt. I thought maybe I had a canker sore or a swollen tastebud or something, and just chewed on the other side of my mouth. When I went to make my bed though, I started to get really suspicious. The sheets were everywhere, I mean, I toss and turn a lot, but they were totally in disarray, and even worse... there was blood on my pillow, damp and mixed with saliva. At this point, I put the pieces together. Messed up sheets, bloody pillow, nasty taste in my mouth, sore tongue and cheek... and no memory of the event. I called Shawn. I explained the situation to him, and as I was in the midst of explaining, I realized something that solidified the evidence in my mind... I remembered and recognized the noise that had originally woken me up. It was me, screaming, during my seizure.
Shawn came and got me. I'm not driving anywhere. I called the Mayo and Kantarci upped my meds. Now I'm just trying to figure out what to do. Shawn and I are hoping to get an apartment within walking distance to Mac, and then I can take a bus to work. I am finally in agreement with everyone else in thinking that I shouldn't be driving, especially after researching and finding out that my lightheaded spells are actually small seizures. If one of those were to progress and become larger... I should not be driving. For now, various family members and friends are volunteering to drive me to and from the cities for work. Shawn and I are hoping to be in an apartment as of the 1st, and if not, we'll camp out with my relatives or in Grandma and Grandpa's house.
Now, I am working on acceptance. That part could definitely take me awhile, but I'm doing my best, and that's all I can hope for.
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