Torn

The loneliness,
The desperation,
is overwhelming.
I can't do it anymore.
I can't take it.
I can't suppress the tears.

I am alone.
It's tearing me apart.
I know not who I am,
at least not all of me.

There are moments
throughout every day
when I see that other person
and I feel torn in two,
and I don't know or understand
what's happening to me.

What is happening to me?
Why does my head feel so strange?
Why do I feel so emotional?
Who is this other person,
this other part of myself
that I know
and understand
but cannot grasp
and cannot recognize?

She is there
barely beyond my reach.
I am scared
because I do not know her,
and I do not trust her,
but I know that I must
discover her
in order to feel complete,
in order to feel whole again.

I am scared,
but I cannot change my course
I must know what this is.
And every time it happens
I try and discover the truth
but it always slips away,
and I am left with only myself,
frustrated and confused,
and lonely again.